Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road?
GEORGE W. BUSH
We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is either with us or it is against us. There is no middle ground here.
AL GORE
I invented the chicken. I invented the road. Therefore, the chicken crossing the road represented the application of these two different functions of government in a new, reinvented way designed to bring greater services to the American people.
COLIN POWELL
Now at the left of the screen, you clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.
HANZ BLIX
We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed access to the other side of the road.
MOHAMMED ALDOURI (Iraq ambassador)
The chicken did not cross the road. This is a complete fabrication. We don't even have a chicken.
SADDAM HUSSEIN
This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.
RALPH NADER
The chicken's habitat on the original side of the road had been polluted by unchecked industrialist greed. The chicken did not reach the unspoiled habitat on the other side of the road because it was crushed by the wheels of a gas-guzzling SUV.
PAT BUCHANAN
To steal a job from a decent, hard-working American.
RUSH LIMBAUGH
I don't know why the chicken crossed the road, but I'll bet it was getting a government grant to cross the road, and I'll bet someone out there is already forming a support group to help chickens with crossing-the-road syndrome Can you believe this? How much more of this can real Americans take? Chickens crossing the road paid for by their tax dollars, and when I say tax dollars, I'm talking about your money, money the government took from you to build roads for chickens to cross.
MARTHA STEWART
No one called to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the farmer's market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.
JERRY FALWELL
Because the chicken was gay! Isn't it obvious? Can't you people see the plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to the "other side." That's what they call it -- the other side. Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And, if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like "the other side."
DR. SEUSS
Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, The chicken crossed the road, But why it crossed, I've not been told!
ERNEST HEMINGWAY
To die. In the rain. Alone.
MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.
I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.
GRANDPA
In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told us that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.
BARBARA WALTERS
Isn't that interesting? In a few moments we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart-warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting and went on to accomplish its life-long dream of crossing the road.
JOHN LENNON
Imagine all the chickens crossing roads in peace.
ARISTOTLE
It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
KARL MARX
It was an historical inevitability.
VOLTAIRE
I may not agree with what the chicken did, but I will defend to the death its right to do it.
RONALD REAGAN
What chicken?
CAPTAIN KIRK
To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.
SIGMUND FREUD
The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.
BILL GATES
I have just released eChicken 2003, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook- and Internet Explorer is an inextricable part of eChicken.
ALBERT EINSTEIN
Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road move beneath the chicken?
BILL CLINTON
I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What do you mean by chicken? Could you define chicken, please?
COLONEL SANDERS
I missed one?
Saturday, January 31, 2009
Since I Last Posted...
...I've had Health & Safety Inspec, 2 SAM case team meetings (involving reading & research prior to meetings), a meeting with Frazier about the Governor's Cup competition (business plans), 3 cases due in SP, one of Fortner's famous "Timeline Quizzes", 4 IT reading quizzes, an excel assignment for IT, 2 deeply historical/theological articles to read for Bible, and reading & discussion q's for HR. Needless to say, it's been a little busy on the homework/business activities front!
...on a happier note I've also: got to see Kung Fu Panda on campus last Friday night and 2 plays ("Life in Technicolor" and "The Dumbwaiter") on campus tonight... had a fun girls day in Little Rock last Saturday with Nikki - art museum, shopping at the mall and Carino's for dinner... got to cook dinner for Matt during open house Tuesday... went for coffee and caught up with Diego yesterday... tried to capitalize on little moments with Matt in amongst our busy schedules - eating lunch together in the caf or SC after class, doing homework together in his lobby, etc...
On a slightly random note, I watched Save the Last Dance for the first time last nite (I know, I know, how have I not seen it before? I have no idea). Movies like that make we want to be black or at least have black friends so I could know how to dance!
On that note, I'm going to bed. It's been a long week and I'm greatly looking forward to sleeping in! (And not looking forward to the butt load of homework I have to do this weekend...)
P.S. Lucas if you're reading this - I'm not ignoring your comment about my "nose in a book" post about Jim Collins' book. I promise I will reply soon!
...on a happier note I've also: got to see Kung Fu Panda on campus last Friday night and 2 plays ("Life in Technicolor" and "The Dumbwaiter") on campus tonight... had a fun girls day in Little Rock last Saturday with Nikki - art museum, shopping at the mall and Carino's for dinner... got to cook dinner for Matt during open house Tuesday... went for coffee and caught up with Diego yesterday... tried to capitalize on little moments with Matt in amongst our busy schedules - eating lunch together in the caf or SC after class, doing homework together in his lobby, etc...
On a slightly random note, I watched Save the Last Dance for the first time last nite (I know, I know, how have I not seen it before? I have no idea). Movies like that make we want to be black or at least have black friends so I could know how to dance!
On that note, I'm going to bed. It's been a long week and I'm greatly looking forward to sleeping in! (And not looking forward to the butt load of homework I have to do this weekend...)
P.S. Lucas if you're reading this - I'm not ignoring your comment about my "nose in a book" post about Jim Collins' book. I promise I will reply soon!
Sunday, January 18, 2009
Nose in a Book
I thought I would have to put both Improving Your Serve and The Power of Touch on hold for awhile while I got settled in to school. I had decided that I probably would just be stuck reading textbooks again for awhile... but told myself that if the beginning of the semester wasn't too crazy, I would attempt to keep up with some other reading. I had heard a lot about Jim Collins' book Good to Great and I'm not sure what possessed me, but on a break in between classes the other day, I stopped by Dr. Frazier's office, knowing he had a copy, and asked if I could borrow it. I doubt I'll get to read much if it this weekend (even though we get Monday off) simply because I have the rest of the chapter to read for CB, a case to read for HR and I really should start reading the case for SAM team. However, on the break in between classes I managed to read the first 40 pages and the following are some quotes I found thought-provoking/inspiring...
------
Good is the enemy of great.
------
Greatness is not a function of circumstance. Greatness, it turns out, is largely a matter of conscious choice.
------
We expected that good-to-great leaders would begin by setting a new vision and strategy. We found instead that they first got the right people on the bus, the wrong people off the bus, and the right people in the right seats - and then figured out where to drive it. The old adage "People are your most important asset" turns out to be wrong. People are not your most important asset. The right people are.
------
"You can accomplish anything in life, provided that you do not mind who gets the credit" - Harry S. Truman
------
The good-to-great leaders never wanted to become larger-than-life heroes. They never aspired to be put on a pedastal or become unreachable icons. They were seemingly ordinary people quietly producing extraordinary results.
------
** All quotes taken from Good to Great by Jim Collins. Copyright 2001 **
------
Good is the enemy of great.
------
Greatness is not a function of circumstance. Greatness, it turns out, is largely a matter of conscious choice.
------
We expected that good-to-great leaders would begin by setting a new vision and strategy. We found instead that they first got the right people on the bus, the wrong people off the bus, and the right people in the right seats - and then figured out where to drive it. The old adage "People are your most important asset" turns out to be wrong. People are not your most important asset. The right people are.
------
"You can accomplish anything in life, provided that you do not mind who gets the credit" - Harry S. Truman
------
The good-to-great leaders never wanted to become larger-than-life heroes. They never aspired to be put on a pedastal or become unreachable icons. They were seemingly ordinary people quietly producing extraordinary results.
------
** All quotes taken from Good to Great by Jim Collins. Copyright 2001 **
Textbooks, Nosebleeds and Friday Night Gong Show
The 3 textbooks I ordered online came in the mail Friday. Just in time to do a whack load of reading over the weekend. I read a chapter for IT and took the online quiz yesterday and I started reading Consumer Behavior but decided to go to Sonic with Kristen and then watch a movie with her and some other friends instead. I hope to finish the CB reading today... but there's still 31 pages left! Boo for long chapters... but at least it's a marketing book which means there's lots of pictures and graphics :)
All my life I have suffered from random nosebleeds. Like not just when I get hit in the face with a basketball or something... just completely random. Since coming to Arkansas with the more humid climate I've had a lot fewer of them. However I always get one or two when I go home for Christmas due to the drier climate and sometimes I'll get one when I come back to school just because my nose is trying to adjust to the climate change. Well this time was no different. Except it's been going all week off and on. I will have a nosebleed, get it stopped, and the next day or two the "scab" will come off and it will bleed all over again. How irritating!
Friday night Matt and I were going to dinner before the Brad Paisley/Dierks Bentley concert (which was awesome!!! see Facebook for pics and vids!). We wanted to eat at Texas Roadhouse just off McCain and we put our name on the list even though the wait was going to be 35-45 min. Finally we decided we couldn't wait anymore and we'd have to go somewhere else. I figured we'd just grab fast food and get to the concert. But we saw Pizza Hut right across the parking lot with only a few cars there and decided to eat there. They sat us down and took our order (dinner for 2: medium pizza, breadsticks and 2 drinks). Our server Bobby** brought us our drinks but our breadsticks didn't arrive till HALF HOUR later (Aren't breadsticks kinda an appetizer... like you're supposed to get them right away kinda thing?...) Right after we get our breadsticks we hear the supervisor Kathy** say "Has anyone seen Bobby?" and some random worker says he saw him in the back. She goes back there, we hear some talking but we can't hear what they're saying. A few minutes later another worker says "Kathy, you just lost a server!" "What??" "Yeah, Bobby just quit." "He's not quitting, I'm firing him!" (At this point I'm in a state of hilarious shock... did our server really just quit/get fired in the middle of our meal?). Awhile later Kathy comes over and asks "are you still waiting on something?" "Uh yeah, the pizza we ordered 40 min ago!" She goes to check on it and finally Matt goes up to the front. Turns out with all the commotion of Bobby leaving and everything and because they were "really busy" (granted, they had a lot of delivery orders... but there were only 4 other tables besides us dining in!!) our pizza wasn't even in the oven yet! Matt said we couldn't wait any longer despite Kathy's attempts to persuade us that it would only be another 15 minutes. They didn't make us pay for the breadsticks and drinks and we just left. We had eaten 2 breadsticks a piece and we missed the opening act of the concert. It was kinda frustrating but yet hilarious at the same time. What a gong show!
*names have been changed to protect the identity of the ridiculous
All my life I have suffered from random nosebleeds. Like not just when I get hit in the face with a basketball or something... just completely random. Since coming to Arkansas with the more humid climate I've had a lot fewer of them. However I always get one or two when I go home for Christmas due to the drier climate and sometimes I'll get one when I come back to school just because my nose is trying to adjust to the climate change. Well this time was no different. Except it's been going all week off and on. I will have a nosebleed, get it stopped, and the next day or two the "scab" will come off and it will bleed all over again. How irritating!
Friday night Matt and I were going to dinner before the Brad Paisley/Dierks Bentley concert (which was awesome!!! see Facebook for pics and vids!). We wanted to eat at Texas Roadhouse just off McCain and we put our name on the list even though the wait was going to be 35-45 min. Finally we decided we couldn't wait anymore and we'd have to go somewhere else. I figured we'd just grab fast food and get to the concert. But we saw Pizza Hut right across the parking lot with only a few cars there and decided to eat there. They sat us down and took our order (dinner for 2: medium pizza, breadsticks and 2 drinks). Our server Bobby** brought us our drinks but our breadsticks didn't arrive till HALF HOUR later (Aren't breadsticks kinda an appetizer... like you're supposed to get them right away kinda thing?...) Right after we get our breadsticks we hear the supervisor Kathy** say "Has anyone seen Bobby?" and some random worker says he saw him in the back. She goes back there, we hear some talking but we can't hear what they're saying. A few minutes later another worker says "Kathy, you just lost a server!" "What??" "Yeah, Bobby just quit." "He's not quitting, I'm firing him!" (At this point I'm in a state of hilarious shock... did our server really just quit/get fired in the middle of our meal?). Awhile later Kathy comes over and asks "are you still waiting on something?" "Uh yeah, the pizza we ordered 40 min ago!" She goes to check on it and finally Matt goes up to the front. Turns out with all the commotion of Bobby leaving and everything and because they were "really busy" (granted, they had a lot of delivery orders... but there were only 4 other tables besides us dining in!!) our pizza wasn't even in the oven yet! Matt said we couldn't wait any longer despite Kathy's attempts to persuade us that it would only be another 15 minutes. They didn't make us pay for the breadsticks and drinks and we just left. We had eaten 2 breadsticks a piece and we missed the opening act of the concert. It was kinda frustrating but yet hilarious at the same time. What a gong show!
*names have been changed to protect the identity of the ridiculous
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
Ever Wonder
Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?
Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?
Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?
Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?
Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?
Why is it that to stop Windows, you have to click on "Start"?
Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons? Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?
Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it?
Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?
Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?!
Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?
If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?
If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?
Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?
Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?
Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?
Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?
Why is it that to stop Windows, you have to click on "Start"?
Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons? Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?
Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it?
Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?
Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?!
Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?
If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?
If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?
Back in the Saddle...
...er, desk? Either way, I'm back to school. Yesterday's classes went pretty well and my one class so far today has gone well. I'm on a break right now and then I have 2 more classes.
After playing with my dogs in the snow (fun!!) and then a disappointing loss for the Oilers on Friday night (Evan and I had fun at the game though), I began my journey back to school Saturday morning. I flew back to Dallas and despite some delays, the day was long and tiring but decent. Then my uncle had a great sermon at church on Sunday (possibly a blog post coming from that later...) and then I had a nice visit with Papa & Nana before I headed back. Started the drive back and despite some boredom, I managed to keep the tunes cranked till I hit Little Rock where I picked up Nikki at the airport. Catching up the whole way back, we then unpacked a little and crashed into bed. Yesterday I finally got to see Matt (in chapel and 2 classes) and then we watched a movie on my laptop last night. It's good to be back :)
I found my textbooks way cheaper online this semester so I'm just waiting for them to come in... and I can't believe this is my last semester of undergrad...!
Sidenote: Matt's injury turned out to be a sprained shoulder and today is supposed to be the last day he has to wear the sling. He's pretty sore but with some pain meds and careful movement, he's doing okay. Aside from being asked a gazillion times what happened to his arm.
After playing with my dogs in the snow (fun!!) and then a disappointing loss for the Oilers on Friday night (Evan and I had fun at the game though), I began my journey back to school Saturday morning. I flew back to Dallas and despite some delays, the day was long and tiring but decent. Then my uncle had a great sermon at church on Sunday (possibly a blog post coming from that later...) and then I had a nice visit with Papa & Nana before I headed back. Started the drive back and despite some boredom, I managed to keep the tunes cranked till I hit Little Rock where I picked up Nikki at the airport. Catching up the whole way back, we then unpacked a little and crashed into bed. Yesterday I finally got to see Matt (in chapel and 2 classes) and then we watched a movie on my laptop last night. It's good to be back :)
I found my textbooks way cheaper online this semester so I'm just waiting for them to come in... and I can't believe this is my last semester of undergrad...!
Sidenote: Matt's injury turned out to be a sprained shoulder and today is supposed to be the last day he has to wear the sling. He's pretty sore but with some pain meds and careful movement, he's doing okay. Aside from being asked a gazillion times what happened to his arm.
Thursday, January 8, 2009
Highlights From The Final Week
Well my break is coming to a close... but the final week has been pretty good. A little more laid back than the rest of break (which is nice) but still filled with some fun times...
-Saturday was lunch with Phil & Cheryl. It's become a tradition for the 3 of us to hang out at least once every time I'm home. Saturday night I hung out with Evan and watched Canada beat Russia 7-4 in the World Juniors semi-final. Then we played foosball, wrestled (proud to say I won that match!) and then Battleship.
-Sunday was getting to see a bunch of peope at church in Edmonton and a bunch of us went out for lunch. Met up with Dallas at West Ed for some bowling, glo-in-the-dark mini-golf and shopping.
-Monday was some errands with Mom, watching Canada pound Sweden 5-1 in the final (see Proud to Be Canadian), and then having a hilarious game of Catch Phrase with Mom and Dale. Sadly, had to say goodbye to Mom since she left Tues morning for the buying show in ATL but I know she's gonna have a great time.
-Tuesday was a Costco run with Phil and then laughing till we cried watching Get Smart back at Dad's.
-Wednesday was a relaxing day. I finished The Mad Trapper by Rudy Wiebe (that I started Tuesday nite). It's a book of Norm & Marian's that Dad had recommended I read . I interrupted Improving Your Serve so I could read The Mad Trapper and give it to Dad to give back to them. When Dad first described it to me it sounded kinda weird and not something I would really like but once I got into it, I was zipping through wanting to find out what happened. After dinner, Dad and I played some crokinole and watched M*A*S*H
-Today I went to Phil's and helped her make some cookies and then we played Wii all afternoon. While there is always a lot to laugh about whenever Phil and I hang out, perhaps one of the best quotes of the day came from my dear prego friend when she said "I thought I felt the baby kicking last night...which is funny cuz I don't think it has legs yet". (I love you Phil!) After dinner, I got to talk to Uncle Bill & Aunt Norma & Dallas on the phone and played a little Catch Phrase w/ Dad. Said goodnight/goodbye to him since I'll be leaving to go back to Mom's after he goes to work tomorrow.
Sidenote: and now I'm waiting to hear from Matt... he is at the ER right now w/ a possible sprained shoulder/broken collarbone. He hit a jump wrong snowboarding today and landed on his shoulder. I know it's not as serious as it could be but I'm still kinda worried...prayers would be appreciated!
-Saturday was lunch with Phil & Cheryl. It's become a tradition for the 3 of us to hang out at least once every time I'm home. Saturday night I hung out with Evan and watched Canada beat Russia 7-4 in the World Juniors semi-final. Then we played foosball, wrestled (proud to say I won that match!) and then Battleship.
-Sunday was getting to see a bunch of peope at church in Edmonton and a bunch of us went out for lunch. Met up with Dallas at West Ed for some bowling, glo-in-the-dark mini-golf and shopping.
-Monday was some errands with Mom, watching Canada pound Sweden 5-1 in the final (see Proud to Be Canadian), and then having a hilarious game of Catch Phrase with Mom and Dale. Sadly, had to say goodbye to Mom since she left Tues morning for the buying show in ATL but I know she's gonna have a great time.
-Tuesday was a Costco run with Phil and then laughing till we cried watching Get Smart back at Dad's.
-Wednesday was a relaxing day. I finished The Mad Trapper by Rudy Wiebe (that I started Tuesday nite). It's a book of Norm & Marian's that Dad had recommended I read . I interrupted Improving Your Serve so I could read The Mad Trapper and give it to Dad to give back to them. When Dad first described it to me it sounded kinda weird and not something I would really like but once I got into it, I was zipping through wanting to find out what happened. After dinner, Dad and I played some crokinole and watched M*A*S*H
-Today I went to Phil's and helped her make some cookies and then we played Wii all afternoon. While there is always a lot to laugh about whenever Phil and I hang out, perhaps one of the best quotes of the day came from my dear prego friend when she said "I thought I felt the baby kicking last night...which is funny cuz I don't think it has legs yet". (I love you Phil!) After dinner, I got to talk to Uncle Bill & Aunt Norma & Dallas on the phone and played a little Catch Phrase w/ Dad. Said goodnight/goodbye to him since I'll be leaving to go back to Mom's after he goes to work tomorrow.
Sidenote: and now I'm waiting to hear from Matt... he is at the ER right now w/ a possible sprained shoulder/broken collarbone. He hit a jump wrong snowboarding today and landed on his shoulder. I know it's not as serious as it could be but I'm still kinda worried...prayers would be appreciated!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)